Omega 3 Vitamins Zoom Zoom Buster

The editor in chief of the Australian Bushwacker decided not to run an article on marsupial attacks in the low desert of southern Australia.

The fact is, marsupials of all sorts are cold blooded killers. They are territorial and enigmatic and they live only to graze on the rare herbs of the australian desert and to pound man flesh with their mighty thumping feet. Smaller hoppers like wallabes may only wound a man in an attack, but a full grown male kangaroo can kill up to 20 tourists a year. The government is afraid of a decline in the tourism industry if the truth about marsupials is leaked, thus marsupial deaths are usually covered up, or sited as heart attacks, strokes, dehydration, or wild aussie bushman slayings.

Until recently, the marsupial plague had been limited to Australia, but in the last 4 months marsupials have been spotted in Brazil, Syberia, and even in Milwaukee, where several children have been brutalized.

How to Prepare Yourself against a Marsupial attack:

There are two common methods of fending off a marsupial attack.

1) Learn basic marsupial sign language. Marsupials communicate through finger twitches. Basic twitch signals like, “Stay back,” “Good food” “Danger me” and “I poop now” can be learned in a quick primer course taught at most local community colleges. More sophisticated signing like, “What is your position on prenatul cryptopsychology?” takes several months of study. Using proper marsupial signs to disuade an angry marsupial can significantly lower your chances of being attacked.

2) Carry a gun.

Remember, the only GOOD marsupial is a DEAD marsupial.

The best multivitamins and the master formula have absolutely nothing to do with marsupials.

I got to thinking about hell. Not that I really believe in it (thus no capitalized “H”) but it’s still a fun place to imagine, like the ghettos of Oz or Hugh Jackman’s aviary. I imagine there are plenty of large faced demon men and painfully curvy demon women trompsing around, sinning and doling out pain. The decor certainly would be red, though hints of green just to make things festive. Of course, nudity required, lots of nudity in hell. Clothes perhaps are a rarity or maybe a punishment.

The tricky thing about hell is how to keep people going. Humans numb, we numb to too much of anything. Even if we can never get enough, we eventually numb. Sex, happiness, money, sports trophies and collectible stamps and nascar on ESPN 3 and hate and love. It’s a sad to experience something for the first time and know it will never be quite so good. Of course, it’s in our nature to improve ourselves, and we take new joy in improvement and success, but we become numb to improvement as well.

And this is the problem with hell. Eternity is such a while, that numbness is certain. And so I have realized what hell is HELL is TOTAL NUMBNESS. hell is the point at which there is no new experience, no better joy, no worse pain, hell is stasis, hell is the numb, the end of numbing.

There is no how to relieve stress in hell because there is no stress in hell. I believe there is no pain in hell, or my imagined hell. Does this boggle the question of heaven, or should we just leave it on the dark side for now?

And as a postcript, here is another link, fresh cut from a demons bones and fired until new again. It is the omega 3 supplements.