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Shoebert is a great name for a person born today. It just fits into this day so cozily, a little rat named Shoebert. A big rat actually, five times the size of a normal rat and unafraid of humans. This mutant rat king is a real Taiwanese treat, thinks to those crazy cryptozoologists and their exploratory nature. I just do hope they name the rat Shoebert.

Shoebert is so big-like that he may get his own species name. Good for him. I’d like my own species name for Christmas. In fact, that’s my one Christmas wish, to be classified as a new species all my own. Then scientists, and amatuer entomologists, and cryptozoologists could study me in the way they study Shoebert. Constant poking and prodding, but lots of pampering, and a special diet tailored to my eating habits, which I’m sure are quite exotic and expensive.

Of course, if I became a new species, I’d likely be renamed and caged as well, and that might be unpleasant. I can take a good caging, but I like my name more than I like what species I am, so forget about Shoebert and the rest of that nonsense.

Instead look for happiness with healthy, happy, haunted websites like master formula and omega 3 benefits. They’ll do you a might bit of good, unless you’re a giant rat king.