Arty
If Arty decided to play his recorder on 3rd street on Sundays for a little cash and jollies, within a week hippies and yippies and yuppies and puppies would be joining in with the recorder jamboree and in a month or two channel 3 news would do an expo on the “recorder craze” going on all over Los Angeles. That’s how charming Arty could be.
But the man was as violent as he was likeable. He once broke a whole set of Ikea livingwear just because the instructions came with the wrong hexagonal wrench. I once saw Arty embarrass his boss at a board meeting, calling the stodgy gentleman, a “glue sniffing radial bastard.” I don’t know that the boss was either radial or a bastard, but it was no secret that he sniffed glue, and everyone played hush hush until Arty came out and said so. That Arty, I wouldn’t cross him with a gaggle of elephants at my back.
Arty was reknowned for his good health. He had the stealthiest abs on a high fat diet, he took 45 omega 3 supplements with his breakfast, and rumor has it he even found the best multivitamin there ever was. But, I wouldn’t believe everything about Arty. People know the best multivitamin will bring about the end of the world. The world is still here, so I’m betting Arty hasn’t found it yet.
