Omega 3 Vitamins Zoom Zoom Buster

Arty was a fine man. He could really get things started. Arty would take up surfing, or dog sledding, canaloping, and in a month he’d be one tried and true seasoned, dog surfing canalope mama.

If Arty decided to play his recorder on 3rd street on Sundays for a little cash and jollies, within a week hippies and yippies and yuppies and puppies would be joining in with the recorder jamboree and in a month or two channel  3 news would do an expo on the “recorder craze” going on all over Los Angeles. That’s how charming Arty could be.

But the man was as violent as he was likeable. He once broke a whole set of Ikea livingwear just because the instructions came with the wrong hexagonal wrench. I once saw Arty embarrass his boss at a board meeting, calling the stodgy gentleman, a “glue sniffing radial bastard.” I don’t know that the boss was either radial or a bastard, but it was no secret that he sniffed glue, and everyone played hush hush until Arty came out and said so. That Arty, I wouldn’t cross him with a gaggle of elephants at my back.

Arty was reknowned for his good health. He had the stealthiest abs on a high fat diet, he took 45 omega 3 supplements with his breakfast, and rumor has it he even found the best multivitamin there ever was. But, I wouldn’t believe everything about Arty. People know the best multivitamin will bring about the end of the world. The world is still here, so I’m betting Arty hasn’t found it yet.

I got to thinking about hell. Not that I really believe in it (thus no capitalized “H”) but it’s still a fun place to imagine, like the ghettos of Oz or Hugh Jackman’s aviary. I imagine there are plenty of large faced demon men and painfully curvy demon women trompsing around, sinning and doling out pain. The decor certainly would be red, though hints of green just to make things festive. Of course, nudity required, lots of nudity in hell. Clothes perhaps are a rarity or maybe a punishment.

The tricky thing about hell is how to keep people going. Humans numb, we numb to too much of anything. Even if we can never get enough, we eventually numb. Sex, happiness, money, sports trophies and collectible stamps and nascar on ESPN 3 and hate and love. It’s a sad to experience something for the first time and know it will never be quite so good. Of course, it’s in our nature to improve ourselves, and we take new joy in improvement and success, but we become numb to improvement as well.

And this is the problem with hell. Eternity is such a while, that numbness is certain. And so I have realized what hell is HELL is TOTAL NUMBNESS. hell is the point at which there is no new experience, no better joy, no worse pain, hell is stasis, hell is the numb, the end of numbing.

There is no how to relieve stress in hell because there is no stress in hell. I believe there is no pain in hell, or my imagined hell. Does this boggle the question of heaven, or should we just leave it on the dark side for now?

And as a postcript, here is another link, fresh cut from a demons bones and fired until new again. It is the omega 3 supplements.